Tips on How to Connect with One’s Self and Explore Delicious Self-Pleasure in Times of Isolation
While the world has quarantined these last few months, we’ve all learned to connect with each other in new ways; and in the spirit of silver linings, which we seem eager to find and humbled to talk about, some of us are embracing the new circumstances as an opportunity to reconnect with ourselves. One way: through masturbation. And now that there is more time, you can play around and explore the sacred “prolonged orgasm.”
I’ve spent the last nearly three months under a stay-at-home order with my dog and haven’t come within six feet of another human in almost that entire time, except for the once I ignored a one-way arrow taped to the floor of the grocery store aisle. And despite the many merits of video calling, I have never been so clear on the importance of physical intimacy to my mental and emotional health. I miss the tension of its imminence: the accidental bumping of shoulders on a walk, the fumbling through handshake vs. hug vs. kiss on the cheek, the hand placed on a forearm and nervously retracted when making a point on a first date, and the release of intimacy in all its grippy, shuttering goodness. I find myself wondering whether the omnipresent sexual tension of our pedestrian lives will ever return, and, perhaps more concerning, whether I’ll ever wrap my legs around someone else’s or taste a stranger’s skin again. But, to get back to our silver lining: for what it lacks in interconnectedness and vulnerability, solo play makes up for by its being reliably, perpetually available, and entirely focused on you. Many of us are forced to reimagine what it means to be intimate — at least for now — and I, for one, have never had so many prolonged orgasms.
So, if you’re looking for inspiration to better understand what brings you pleasure and how to heighten it, the following is for you. And remember, masturbation is deeply personal, but wherever you’re starting and wherever you’re trying to arrive, there is so much opportunity to explore. I have come to believe that the infamous prolonged orgasm isn’t so much about the definitive climax moment, but rather the celebration and indulgence of overall pleasure.
Wake up your skin
Touch releases oxytocin that can be so healing in fighting loneliness, lowering cortisol levels, and keeping our immune systems performing as they should. There are nerve endings all over your body that can be incredibly pleasurable when stimulated: trace your palm, jellyfish your fingertips along your arm or thigh, pinch your neck, or pick up a fork or a fine-tooth comb for more sensation. If climax is painful or for whatever reason not the goal, stopping here can be an incredibly pleasurable way to self-soothe and cope with isolation. If you’re looking for full climax or a prolonged orgasm, you’re on your way if you start here.
Mix things up with temperature play
If you’re feeling limited by lack of toys, temperature can be a fun way to mix things up. Throw a spoon in the freezer or break out your heating pad or even a warmed glass and touch yourself where it feels good. If you’re lucky enough to have a removable shower head, find your perfect temperature and go wild. I’ve found temperature play to be especially arousing when I’m using CBD lubricant, as it heightens sensitivity in your erogenous zones for a delicious, prolonged orgasm.
For prolonged orgasms, take your time
Work from home starting to feel pretty tedious? Allow your session to last all day. Delayed climax takes discipline, but the intense orgasm you’re likely to experience when you finally give-in can be unbelievably hot, and can make the dishes you have to wash and meetings you have to call in for go by much faster in the meantime. See how long you can go: patience pays when it comes to edging.
Lubricate, lubricate, lubricate
Applied externally or internally, lube heightens sensitivity to create a more sensual experience. If you tend to steer clear of oil-based lube to protect the integrity of latex condoms, solo sex is a great opportunity to explore the benefits of oil-based lubes (we love our own!). I find it to be a sensual way to mimic the slippery wetness of sex, prolong and intensify my orgasm, and encourage my hand to move more freely to different erogenous zones.
Experiment with butt play
Masturbation can be a low-pressure opportunity to explore anal stimulation. A weighted plug while vacuuming the living room or making dinner makes for subtle foreplay that sets you up for an intense, prolonged orgasm later on. Apply lubricant generously to any toys — and always ensure your toy has a flared base for anal use! Our QULO oil is versatile and designed for softening, warming and opening, while creating silky lubrication. If you’re new to anal play, but curious, we highly recommend this butt plug. It’s truly an amazing and delicious way to prolong orgasms.
Include your company
If you are in good company during quarantine, masturbate with your partner, in front of your partner, for your partner. Show your partner how it’s done. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that nothing replaces self-pleasure, especially once you take the time to really get to know your body.
But really, it’s about your pleasure
Ultimately, do whatever resonates with you and be patient and open-minded about finding new ways to stimulate yourself. The pressure is off when you are getting intimate with you. So, explore, stay curious, and enjoy pleasure however you create it. The options are endless and it’s looking like we’ll have some time.